touchdown

I was looking at kids quotes and laughing, so i wondered, what would maya say?! so i decided to ask her the questions....

Love advice: by Maya age 8

Q: how can you tell if two people are married?
A: "if one has a wedding dress and the other has a suit and they're, like, going to the movies or somewhere, you can tell they're in love."

Q: How do you decide who to marry?
A: "If he's cute, smart, intelligent, and really nice, and if...yea."

Q: How do you make someone fall in love with you
A: "I act cool, but first you have to be friends with them, and be really nice to them and they might like you back."

Q: Whats the best age to get married?
A: "like around 20"

Q: what happens if the first date doesn't go well?
A: "well go on a second one and make it well"

Q: why do people in love hold hands?
A:" because they like each other, and it just feels better when you hold hands, yea it makes you feel better."

Q: what do most people do on dates?
A: "they go to the movies and the carnivals."

Q: when is it okay to kiss someone?
A:" When it's the right moment, so they know each other, so right when the moment hits the sun, or the moon, go for it!"

Q: is it better to be single or married?
A: "Single"

Q:Why?
A: " because, sometimes men are really frustrating."

Q: how would the world be different if no one ever got married?
A: "everyone would be separate, and some women would be very sad, and some women would be very happy."

Q: how would you make marriage work?
A: "I would make sure because I would go every saturday night, we would go to a fancy restaurant, or maybe every second saturday, and watch a movie, and make sure we dont break up!"

There's something to be said about someone who loses at their own game, defiantly something to be said 'bout that.

Look you
you know who you are
look
if you break her heart
Ill break your face
I dont hate you now
'Cuz i lost nothing when i lost you
nothing worth abandoning my morals over at least
But i swear to the dear Lord above
if you hurt her
like you hurt me
Ill hate you with more passion
than Shakespeare put into writing every sonnet and every play
Ill hate you more than Romulus hated Remus
more than Judah hated himself
So take this into careful consideration when you're playing with peoples feelings
Im not jealous
I dont care about myself anymore
Hurt her and youll give me a whole other battle cry
and this one won't have tears.

names, cuz ill forget

Girl: Yukino
Boy: Arima

Its hard when you're sitting at home, alone, with nothing to distract you from the giant elephant in the room you've been ignoring for a long time. I hate that feeling you get after you watch a movie thats too good to be true, but you still want to believe. So yea, i feel like such a weenie, I sat there bawling my eyes out, alone, well i was smothering sage, poor dog. After ten minutes of that, I ran out of tears. Got up, took a shower. Boiled some water, made tea. Had chicken soup, and listening to Elliott Smith on full volume.

So goes the story of my life.

Ug.

thought of something interesting while she was sitting alone at the train station in the rain, if life is a train station, then the train is death- or 'the final destination; unless you believe in reincarnation- in that case, buy a round trip ticket.

i wish id never met you
i wish id never seen your face
I wish Id never heard your voice
I wish i could enjoy the music you gave me
I wish i could forget how happy you made me
I wish i hadnt defended you
I wish I hadnt dropped everything i was doing to be around you
I wish i had payed more attention to other things
I wish i hadnt hoped so much
I wish I hadnt cried so much
I wish i had seen things as they were sooner rather than later
I wish i hadnt fallen in love with everything that made you, you
I wish i hadnt stopped talking to you
I wish i would have said something as you walked away
I wish i didnt feel like this
I wish i could appologize
I wish i wouldnt miss you

I wish you gave a damn

I wish id never met you

Yea, tried to be something i wasnt; perfect.
in the end
it just imploded and i realized something
im only human

I dined with the Devil
and
he whispered in my ear;
over candle lit tables
and
black roses,
soft gentle words
my soul yearned to hear.
His voice was smooth as velvet,
with words rich as the sweetest wine,
andas the hours passed me by,
I soon began to lose track of time.
Life lost its meaning
as the food upon my plate
grew cold,
and
although it was
but a few turns of the hour glass
I felt my aching heart grow old.
When the devil ceased his speech;
he kissed my trembling lips
and
like the leech I was warned he was,
I gasped as
what life was left within me,
rushed from my shivering courpse,
and
fled to him.
Then
from his coat he produced
a single black rose
and
tenderly tucked it behind my ear.
He kissed my forehead and before he fled,
leaving me for dead,
these words he said,
“You look awful pale,
my dear.”

never loved me
never will
but thats just fine
im feelin just fine
got one foot on a mine
and an eye on the time
and im feelin just
fine

“In the end, its all going to be okay, if its not okay,its not the end.” -unknown
What a load of bullshit
If that were true: id be IMMORTAL

im going to where the lilies grow,
to lie beside the irises
beneath the snow.
Im going to where the stars never shine
and where sound is as unexistant as time.
Im going to where there are no more tears to shed
and sleep is a peaceful bliss
as i’m lying in my earthen bed.
im going to where the lilies grow,
to lie beside the irises
beneath the snow.

Welcome to the Berlin wall my freind
welcome to the place were we argue without sound
and we wait for each other to budge
Welcome to the western front
where one day we’re neighbors
and another day we kill each other
Welcome to the cold war
where we all have our hands on self destruct
and negotiations are made over rickty bridges
and phone’s that always ring, but are never picked up.
Welcome to Hell
where we get to simmer in our grief
and watch all we’ve done wrong
repeat before our eyes untill we’re so insane
we cant even pull the trigger.

White lies gather flies upon the broken courpses
as feeble minds try to find the reasons they no longer have voices
now they’re dead
theyve reached the end
no more crying for these souls
their eyes are empty
their only friends are the crows
Black lilies upon their stones
written words on their bones
the very words that plauged their minds
fate and free will now intertwined
Till all that is left of them is dust
the remans of broken trust
and the sad plastered faces
forever occupying earth’s empty spaces.

Its a few, or maybe many years into the future. My middle sister has been married for a few year, to a fine upstanding gentleman who's sweet, but very quirky and artistic. They have a little girl, beautiful child. My youngest sister is fresh out of college, she's working with NASA to create the worlds first outer space roller coaster she currently dating her best friend of almost five years. I totally approve. Mom moved down to Okinawa, she met a marine biologist that struck her fancy, they've been living in a small house near the sea. I find myself walking down 42nd street, im on my way to see broadways greatest hit this season, starring nonother than Elena and Greg. Im meeting Chris at the theater, hes been living in Canada for a few years, the free medical is hard, but he still manages to make a very well to do salary. His house is all windows. He's been dating a fellow colleague for a few months, things are going well. I talked to Ted a few weeks ago, he was in San Francisco for vacating visiting an old friend who i do not know. I got a letter from Jon, hes been working with the conservation team in africa. I pass a news stand, i notice that the newest Time is out, Farah's been the cheif writer for some time, although she still does other journalism on the side. There are campaign signs in the window, Tom is running for the senate seat of new york, he won last term. I pause at a starbucks on the corner, remembering when me father took me there before we saw avenue Q all those years ago. I havent talked to him in years.

Bill is still on the east coast, he emails me sometimes, i hears hes doing well. He landed a good job, and there is currently a small art exhibit in the New.Met dedicated to his work.

Dan is living in New York also, hes a published writer and designer. The jacket im wearing is from his new line of clothes, the shirt is from Heather's new line as well.

So im walking down 42nd street, but i keep pausing, Cj's going to be mad if im late.

Bess is married as well, she's also a teacher at the school Anya's child goes to.

Culver, also married, has been working with National Geographic, I've been reading his articles because they also pertain to my research. We bumped into each other wile I was working in wolf conservation in the new Russian animal research clinic.

Sal and I keep in touch, he calls once a week to ask how I am. He's been happily married for some time and has two sons, they all live on the east coast. He got the job he always dreamed of, we graduated from Stony Brook together.

Eric is a published writer as well, Ive read some of his books, all very cynical, but amazing, Time named him author of the year. He sent me a copy. Oh, Greg won the year before for his fifth published book.

My thoughts are interrupted, i stop walking. He passes me, his arm around someone i dont know. I turn around and catch another glimpse. Was it really him? Im frozen in place. Frantic, I call out his name. He turns around, looking confused he shrugs and rounds the corner. I sigh. Last I heard, he was working on a new film, it was coming out this summer. The last one was okay, it won an Oscar.

The show is about to start, I wave to chris, he's saved my seat. I sit down, he asks how my dog is, Copernicus. We laugh and talk, then lights go dim and we settle down. The show begins.

i want to cave so badly, i hold my cell phone and i think “one more text wont hurt, will it?” but always i end up throwing it away to resists, memories of just crying rivers this week alone keep my itching fingers at bay and my feet fast to flee. But its though something has died within me, “I cant live without him.” someone once said, and i said “Same, but im learning to be undead.”


The Empty feeling is back, and it hurts.
Like theres in miniature avalanche, just caving in within me.
I hate it .

MY HAIR LOOKS FUCKIN AWESOME

ACCUSTIC WAS FUN

YEA

my favorite people who say the best things are: Kurt Vonnegut, Mark Twain, Stephan King, and Shakespeare.

yup.

today was like hell
perhaps tomorrow will be worse
that okay tho
cuz itall make today look nice
and i wont have to worry about the past haunting me

haha

ha

heh.

((*sigh* im down to witty comments and shakspearian context))

 Ive flirted with Paris, danced with Mercutio, been jealous of Rosaline, joked with Tyblat,  secretly admired Benvolio and Balthasar...  Where the fuck is Romeo!?