heh. Im too prideful for my own good.

to never hold their hand again
to smell their hair and hear the sound of their voice
the feel of their presence
the way the walk
and shout
their sense of humor, and little quirks
to ever fight with them
laugh with them
cry with them
oh every person is different, none two are the same
and all the more painful
when death steals that person away.

Psh, ill buy you both first class tickets. See Ya.

If there's a prize for rotten judgement
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That ancient history,
Been there done that

I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming get a grip, girl
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out
- Meg," Hercules "

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMMA!! <3

Don't do my any favors.

(pika pi)

Field Tournament Style Up and Down On the Ground Manja Flanja Blanja Banja Ishka Bibble Babble Flabble Doma Roma Floma Boma Jingle Jangle Every Angle Bricka Bracka Flacka Stacka Two Ton Rerun Free for All Big Ball.

I was under the wrong impression
And it crushed me.
Killing what innocence I had left,
It robbed me of the light I once had seen in people,
Escaping my mind through the tears I wept.
Clutching my bleeding heart,
Away from the truth-smothered lies I fled.
The sheep will no longer listen.
I cannot watch them as they blindly leap to their deaths.
The wool on my back is starting to shed, revealing the fur underneath.
My hands are now paws, they can no longer catch them,
My fangs, they bite and bleed,
The wolf inside at last can no longer hide.
My eyes will not be blind, mournfully, the only choice is to flee.

"its your responsibility, you have to clean it!" - maya
"but i want a pet!" - mom

i swear, things are so backwards in my house roflll, mom wants a bunny, maybe ill get her one for her birthday.

i swear i could hang myself today and half the people i know wouldn't give a crap. Its a nice feeling, being unneeded, not seeing the reason for living. Its a very much out of the square experience. Because people move on, I would die and within a week everyone would forget how sad they were, or how much they miss me. Life would go along much as it does. SAT' would pass. Id feel bad because Berner would have to do the Ap paper by himself and someone would have to walk sage. Anya would get the top bunk. I mean its such a funny thing to think about, just poof! and im gone without a trace. Id never finish my book, which is a shame though, since im the only one would could write it. But no body would stop me, no one. I try and be there for everyone, and thats what i like. but when no one needs me, i become obsolete. *shrug* its weird. so for now, until something else happens, I figure ill just focus on school. I dont give a damn about anyone who cant give half a damn for me, im done with that now too. ralph taught me to be cautious with love, now this is teaching me to be cautious with kindness and picking freinds. oh boy if they call me picky now, just wait till this blows over. pretty soon I wont be me anymore, ill actually say what i mean, ill cry when im sad and not worry about hurting peoples feelings. wouldnt that be nice hum? If i stopped thinking about everyone else's feelings and problems and worrying about them all the time, and actually thought about myself for once, or if someone actually was there who understood and gave a damn. hum? wouldnt that be nice. But no, im too messed up to understand, im too prideful to ask for help, and im too goddamn caring to try and hurt peoples feelings without suffering reletnless guilt and anguish for it later. That my problem, I care too much, about what people think, how they feel, overanalyze, you name it. I just think way too much way too often.

Im going to finish my hw, studdy, then watch naruto and do as culver says- pretend im in the greatest arch of all time, fighting with the best shinobi with one sick ninjitsu. its lame, but hey, if it works it works. And E.Culvs is a genius.

for the record, "....." or "nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing."
thats saying nothing.

And if my phone rings, i might just hit it with a hammer.

I used to be love drunk, but now I'm hungover
I love you forever, forever is over
We used to kiss all night, now it's just a bar fight
So don't call me crying, say hello then goodbye
-Boys like Girls

Different upbringings eh? wow. that was low. that was really low of you. and it didn't even make sense, at least i came out of a fucked up childhood with impeccable morals and undying loyalty to my friends no matter what kind of abuse i have to go through. What did you get hum? Well im sorry I embarrass you. I just wish you'd get my back from time to time, even if i never expect you to.

Hurry!
Quickly now, follow me!
watch the fault line.
Why arn't you moving?
Hey, hey come on stop that.
What are you doing,
the earth will split soon,
hurry! cross the fault line before it widens
Stop standing there!
Why do you look at me so?
Please please, before we're separated.
Jump!
Please, stop standing there like that!
Make hast, time is little to none!
Quickly now!
No, no how can you just stand there
Soon the bridge will collapse
and you'll be stuck there!
Why do you not listen when I call?

at least i know El and Culver will still be there when the rubble clears.

hah. wonderful. maybe i should just write a will now
because pretty soon ill get sick of this crazy house and check out early.


4:55 who would have thought Teneo would have the words i needed to hear. some may complain, but when it comes down to it, hes always the catcher in the rye.

theres just something liberating about dancing like a fool in an empty house to girly sappy mainstream music, that just cant be expressed in words hehe and nothing makes a better microphone than a hairbrush.
http://www.youtube.com/user/FuyuYukiOokamiTsuki#p/f/3/FTaPVlyEQc8

YES!!!! ITS 4 36 AND DARK. i got 12 hours of sleep. took a shower. had pizza for breakfast. bumped into Orrie at the library. Spent the last 4 hours reading- im taking a break from the vampire novels for a while im reading a book about 12 bewitched princesses and a retired solider boy they falls in love with them and tries to same them to win the heart of the oldest, i picked it up randomly from the library when we went today, it had a cool cover. the story isnt bad so far, im halfway through, but its a bit predictable, i could tell what was going to happen from the first ten pages- then again ive read alot of books like this, so i dont mind the predictability. --Ate my favorite chocolate bar. then danced to Taylor Swift- You belong with me. I'd say today was pretty nice. Now im doing homework and listening to youtube music by Sam Heart. I plan to finish Physics hw, do research, and watch Naruto, then crash. i was just thinking, I love weekends. Five out of seven days i have to straighten my hair just to look mildly presentable, but on the weekends, i laze around in light blue jeans and whatever t-shirts, my hair in a wild poof. Actually my hairs alot softer and just nicer when i dont straighten it, it just looks nicer when i do. Ugh and its starting to die at the tip cuz of it too. Thats probably the nicest thing about the weekends besides no school- not having to worry about my hair at all. Like i went to the library with my hair totally undone, a bit embarrassing, but whatever, its not like im trying to impress anyone. And its raining- so extra poof. hehe. oh ive been working on my tumlbr alot too, sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words. http://therabbitsfoot.tumblr.com starting from page 20 is really the begining, i thought that was odd.

7:56-- Catcher in the Rye, hum now that i understand the meaning, i really like it. Bravo J.D, bravo. I like the way you think. Also listening to the Album (whats the story) Morning Glory? is really nice when reading Catcher, its the kind of music i think Holden would appreciate.

i can reach Hulu from school....which means i can watch naruto at school....there is a God.

And today's gym class made my life. Mega Jedi war with pool noodles...blue team ftw- we totally kicked ass.

we're all very selfish people.

im studdying for APUS and rocking out to my ipod on shuffle - IT's my life
moms like "Are you okay? Im worried."

HAHAHA
i love her, and yes, she should be worried.